Firstly, the old bint has been bleating on about her new BMW for months now, and this week she finally got it. It’s a BMW 1 Series. Not to mention the custom plates she is soon to get. S100 TRO. No, I can’t work that out either. However, a few alterations with a pen would make it, SLag TRO. If you get me. And knowing the filthy knickered Trowt the Beamer would have to be a bargain. I can imagine them in the showroom, Sue’s cunt of a husband sidles up to the salesman and whispers in his ear, “If you don’t give me a serious discount, i will lock you in a room with my wife”. Using that logic the car would be free and in fact the salesman would be paying off Sue in monthly installments.
She gets said car last Thursday, 22nd Apr. I remember that day well, since I was laughing so hard at the stupidity of the situation. Firstly, I need to explain her husband a bit more. I’ve gone over him in detail before, but just to clarify. He is just as tight as the Trowt, if not more so. Unless it’s for himself of course. Leaving his BMW in the garage 24/7 is sure to keep its value and make purchase worth it. The car is only ever dusted off for special occasions. Royal visits etc.
He now knows that Sue has a new BMW, so why the fuck should he get his out? Just fob her off with excuses and drop her off at work. Job done. It’s almost too easy. I can see through his bullshit a mile off, yet sue seems unaware.
The first day she got the fucking car she drove it in, only to get out and swap seats with the cunty husband so he can drive it home. Why? Because it needed custom plates and he was sorting that out*.
*Bullshit
It also gave him an excuse to roll up outside her workplace at 2pm ready to collect her. He didn’t park outside the gate, oh no. He parked right up the end of this road adjacent to it. In fact you could barely see him. But soon as sues mullet came into view, he drove up, slowly. Allowing everyone to gaze in awe at his new BMW. I was expecting Ode to joy to be playing, with doves being released at 10 meter intervals and to finish, a pyrotechnics masterpiece.
Army officers staring, open mouthed, erections a plenty, women lying flat on the floor, allowing sue to walk over them to the car as it pulled up and the colonel opening the passenger door for Sue. “There you go ma ‘lady. Sure is a fine vehicle you got there”. ” I know”, mutters the husband, with a smug fuck face which only a Troughton can pull off.
That’s only day one.
The next day she turned up with the car and no husband. Finally I thought, she put her foot down. She has no problem in whining like a bitch at work if everyone is given a paperclip and she is missed out. But seems to allow her family to shit and piss all over her.
The day went with its usual overdose of Sue and come home time, she leapt into her new BMW and drove off into the sunset. But we noticed something, no custom plates. How odd, so the next day I asked her. Turns out the paperwork is being sorted, which anyone who has had custom plates before knew (the cunt of a husband). So begs the question, if he knew this, why lie to his lady wife just to use her car for the day and not his? 2 reasons mainly. He is either so fucking tight and protective of his baby, he would lie to his own wife to use her car and not his. 2, He is having an affair. I like to go for both.
The next day she is dropped off again. Fucking mug. Upon questioning, the reason is so ludicrous, so outrageous, that if I think about it for too long, blood starts shooting out of my fucking ears and the right hemisphere of the brain turns to the left and says “fuck it, I’m out “.
Ready?
Sure?
Because she parked her car under a tree which drops sticky sappy leaves and branches on her precious Beamer and he has to take it to be cleaned. CLEANED!!
Holy shit, that alone is enough for any person. However it got even worse the next day. She was dropped off once more and the excuse this time? Go on, guess. You fucking won’t ever get it.
She parked under the same tree, causing the same problem and he husband has to get it cleaned again.
Where does she park to get jizzed over by a disgruntled tree? And what sort of damage is caused by said tree to the render the car drivable only by the husband? It’s the fact Sue blindly goes along with the excuses which fucks me off. Even if the story was true, that there exists a tree hell-bent on ruining Sue’s precious BMW, its sap. Not battery acid or bird shit. And even if it was, why not get it cleaned after or before work? It’s nonsense, just fucking drivel. And she laps it up like a cat licking its bollocks.
That’s it, I’ve had enough. Truly. I can’t figure her or her fucked up family out. It’s all become too much.
Ciao
No comments:
Post a Comment